So, I have been thinking alot ( too much lately if you ask Brian :0) ) but I want to love myself more. Haha....do I sound full of myself yet? No I mean to accept my outer flaws, all of them. To give myself comments, to avoid insecurities. I know working on my innerself will take my whole life, but I figure, if I can have a better attitude about the outer, then I could be an all around better person. Take for instance I was thinking for this post, I'd put a picture of just me. And did you guess what happened? I took about 20....didn't like any of them. For some reason I've always thought I look worse in pictures, or from a diagnal....stop laughing. My biggest complaints are usually my pores, my scar, my unproportional face, my stretch marks, my toes, skin coloring, hair color, crookedish teeth/mouth, my eye shape/position and one other area to which those of you who know me, know what it is. Do I sound negative yet? Don't you dare look for them next time I see you! But a change of plans has been made to order! I want to focus on what I do like, or make what I don't like silly or acceptable in my mind....maybe even eventually positive? I mean, can't thinking more positively make something look better? I sure do need to....cause exposing my insecurities all of the sudden made me feel naked!
So I will say what I do like:
I like my nose profile :0), my ears (eh what's not to like), my hair thickness (not too thick or thin), the few freckles I have (they seem to have disapeared over the years), my arms, the mole by my belly button ( too personal? naw it's just my button!-Elise's words), my fingernails, the fact that I only have peach fuzz above my knees on my legs, my hips, and then there are a few others that are in the 'pending' state that I am working on.
I have a goal to enter into a state of acceptance first. Then maybe turn some of those 'acceptable traits' into unique, cool traits that make me different or special.
I'm starting with, "Huh, this body gets me from here to there, how nice of it. This body is my friend, helping me do so many things, like hold my baby. No matter how much I haven't liked ____, it works, how blessed am I? Well geeze, it's not all that bad, it kinda gives me character!"
You're probably thinking, "Whoa, why would she tell everyone this?" or "Dang now everyone is going to know what she does!" Well, I don't care. I like being honest with myself, and I have come to a realization that something shared is something gained. Admitting imperfections that I have (character ones) doesn't bother me. I think it shows strength. Because I have discovered a fault, admitted I have it, and now am working on it. That's growth in it's beginning stages and is a beautiful thing. Being positive in any aspect is really so refreshing and inspiring. In fact, I have my best days when I am optimistic. Everything is so much happier, beautiful and just less complicated. My biggest goal for the year 2011, being more optimistic in every area and Loving Me :0)
